Upon the Shore
by EarlGreyling
Summary: Sanji is living a corrupt life. When he sees the error of his ways, Luffy helps him try to regain his old life and amend his mistakes. However, it won't be easy considering Sanji's current predicament. Eventual ZoSan. Will be M for language and later drug-use and smut. (Terrible summary)
1. Prologue

Author's Note: Hello there. The whole premise of this does get better when more is revealed; I just didn't want to give too much away in the summary so it may have been slightly misleading.

Also this is my first fan fiction (*internal screaming*) so I could really do with constructive criticism. There will be alternating POVs.

This is very short (apologies for that) but the first chapter will be up in a few days and will be much longer. Hope you enjoy it

~ Prologue – The Tide is Creeping Further Away ~

Luffy stared out at the multi-toned blue sea. He watched the pale cobalt waves plough forward into the dry sand of the shore, then creep away momentarily just to charge forward again in repeated, hypnotic motions. He could see a few small sailing boats far out in the distance, that seemed to be balancing on the horizon as the sun began to set behind it.

_He used to love the ocean._

When Luffy saw the ocean he couldn't help but think of his friend. Well, maybe 'friend' wasn't the right term.

"I wonder if he'll be alright." He said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Who gives a shit?" Zoro deadpanned rhetorically, knowing exactly who he was talking about.

"Yeah, I can't believe you're worrying about an ass like him." Nami bit.

Luffy's head dropped in defeat. He was down. Torn between conflicting emotions. Confusion, anger and sadness all collided with each other and formed a kind of sickening, toxic potion within him.

Usopp looked up from his sketchbook. "Yeah, Luffy. Nami's right. You shouldn't waste your concern on such a person."

"But-!" Luffy began to protest, but he stopped himself. He knew it was useless. He had tried this before. He had tried telling his crew that something was wrong with his friend. He tried to explain that his friend's behaviour had totally changed and he'd warped into the kind of person he would have hated. He repeatedly tried to explain that he wasn't always how he was now. That something really bad had happened to him.

But his crew just told him that people change, and grew to hate him as they got dragged, unwillingly, into his life and affairs.

They witnessed his cruelty towards Luffy and his disregard for people whom he thought himself better than, which was pretty much everyone. Most of them were also subjected to his boundless selfishness. He was vulgar and vain. Conceited and corrupt. They hated him to say the least and, though it hurt Luffy a lot, he couldn't blame them.

How could such an amazing friend disappear from his life only to return as a different person? A hateful person. Luffy was usually buoyant and upbeat but this tore at his sanity. There were so many unanswered questions._ How did this happen? Why did this happen? Could I have stopped it? Can I still stop it?_ None of it made any sense.

Luffy had his suspicions, but no one he knew would help him follow them through. He was once so determined to solve this mystery. He begged his friends but all they offered was logical reasons that he couldn't argue with; reasons not to get involved with this person's life.

His friends rarely denied him of anything he truly wanted for too long, but this was an exception. His best friend even said no to him. Zoro, who was endlessly loyal, refused to help Luffy involve himself with this person. Zoro knew that what Luffy wanted to do was potentially dangerous but that wasn't his concern. Zoro knew that Luffy could protect himself in a hazardous situation; he was just worried about his feelings. He believed that they weren't worth being damaged for such a cruel, careless person. Luffy's emotions had already been toyed with enough because of _him_.

So Luffy was told to move on. Seemingly every possibility became a lost cause. Finding out what happened to his ex-friend was now a pipe-dream. He was lost. So Luffy… gave up.

But Luffy still cared though most hope was gone. He still felt in his heart how that strong, kind soul had impacted his life. He was once a great friend, and if he didn't come out of that coma there would be no chance, not even the slightest, of _ever_ getting him back.

_Please wake up, Sanji. Please wake up. And I promise you, I'll fix this._


	2. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Sorry this took longer than I thought, and if it's crappy. I've been going over it loads and I'm sick of reading it so it get uploaded today =)

Thank you for the follows and the review. I really didn't expect any responses at this point so it really is appreciated.

(By the way, I do know where I'm going with this fic. It's mostly all planned out in incomprehensible notes. Right, I'll stop blabbing now.)

Chapter One

A faint, droning succession of beeps was the first thing Sanji heard as he approached consciousness, but then the sound of soft murmurs began to lull the obnoxious noise. He was unable to make out what was being said and felt a curious urge to know who was talking and what they were saying, so he slowly peeled open his eyes.

He was instantly greeted with a cold, dazzling light hanging from a clinical white ceiling, just above his head. He scrunched his eyes in response and wondered where the hell he was and why the hell someone would put such an overly bright directly in someone's field of vision. With the damaging strain on his eyes, a painful ache started to spread across his forehead.

_Am I hung-over? _Was his preliminary thought, but then, with the pain, more common sense surfaced.

_Fuck! Beeps. Unfamiliar room. Head feels like shit… Am I in a fucking hospital?_

Sanji noticed that the hushed mutters were now much clearer. It was the whispers of two simple words, randomly arranged and repeated over and over without pause for breath:

"Please, Sanji, please please please, Sanji, please please, Sanji, please-"

His eyes shot open, this time avoiding the annoying light, and landed an instantly recognised body. It was slumped on a chair beside him, looking void of life save for its soft speech and the tight grip that two hands had on the chair's armrests. His head was drooping and the straw hat on his head looked close to toppling off.

"Luffy?" Sanji questioned with an surprisingly weak voice.

Luffy's neck snapped upwards and welcomed Sanji with a shocked yet delighted face.

"S-Sanji?!" he near shouted in disbelief.

Sanji gripped at his hair. _Fuck._ Now it felt like his whole skull was vibrating and on fire. "Yeah, Luffy." He said through gritted teeth, looking around the room for a moment to confirm to himself that he was in a hospital.

Upon releasing his hold on his hair, Sanji felt a peculiar sort of bump on his head. Tracing his fingertips across the contusion he deduced from how it spread across his entire forehead and its slightly coarse texture that it was bandages that were wrapped around his whole head. _Head-wound? Fuck!_ He also noted that his hair that felt thinner and greasier than he last remembered.

"What's going on? Where are we? And who the fuck puts a shitty, blinding light right above someone's head for them to open their eyes to?"

Luffy's face dropped of its previous happiness. The shock still remained but now there was confusion too.

"Wha-?" he looked at an equally confused Sanji for a few seconds before he shook his head abruptly and dismissively. "Shit. I'll go get Chopper." He said quietly and quickly before jumping out of his seat.

Sanji stared after the boy who had scampered out of the room before he had a chance to stop him.

_What the fuck was that all about?...And what or, quite likely, who is Chopper?_ He shrugged it off and figured that Luffy was probably just getting weird meat deficiencies or something equally stupid… However, the kid didn't even mention anything about food. To be honest he didn't say a whole lot at all. No real greetings or questions, not even an explanation as to why they were in hospital. Nor did he try and hug him or grin and laugh incessantly for no real reason at all…

_Weird._

Sanji glanced around the room trying to analyse the situation for any more clues as to what was wrong with him. He only took in the surroundings - the bland, stale white, poor excuse for a colour-scheme, a bedside table to his right, a locker-closet looking thing further right and the chair Luffy was sat in to his left – before his mind started to wander again. It was difficult to control your thoughts when it was so freaking painful just to think. He rubbed his temples lightly through the bandages and sighed. The pains eased momentarily, though he starting to feel a slight soreness in his propped up arm, so Sanji took it as his opportunity to think things through.

He really couldn't remember what he had been doing last to get himself into such a state. He just had memories of his usual, unexciting routine he'd been living for the past few years: Waking up early, cooking himself breakfast, showering, dressing, walking to work, cooking interspersed with smoke breaks, charming beautiful ladies and yelling at his useless co-workers, possibly having a visit from Luffy or paying him one in the evening. Then arriving home late and getting to bed after either a glass of good quality wine or a bath. Repeat until the old man forces him to take a day off.

Nothing significant struck his mind though. What had he done to get himself into hospital? As well as with no memory of why he was there. _Maybe I have amnesia, _he pondered to himself. _I must have been in a pretty poor state considering Luffy's whole 'Please, Sanji, please' thing. _He figured it would be good idea to consider what he did know about his situation.

_So I have a head injury-_

The sharp pains returned in the area of said injury and he winced.

_Maybe not. _

Sanji took a few deep breaths and told himself to man up. He peered down at his mostly hidden body and stretched out the arm, which was completely bandaged, to lay it flat against his body. He hesitantly shifted around to try and locate any more sources of pain or determine any other injuries. He instantly felt dull, but definitely present, throbs of pain spreading throughout the sides of his torso, ribs, arms and his thighs. Everywhere else was pretty much okay and the soreness he did feel seemed as if it was decreasing in severity and that he was healing. The worst of the pains were over.

_How long have I been unconscious if I've had time to heal?_

The door of the room opened and Luffy briskly entered with another teen, who was considerably shorter than Luffy but looked about the same age. Luffy had his hand rested firmly on the boy's shoulder before he gave it a squeeze and returned to stand at Sanji's side, but refraining from settling in the chair. The gesture indicated to Sanji that the two were familiar with each other (although it could have just been more evidence for Luffy's poor understanding of personal space).

Looking back at the other kid, he saw that he had brown, fluffy hair and a frankly adorable, but nervous-looking, face. He had a little, button nose, a small mouth pulled into a slight frown and huge brown eyes that weren't meeting Sanji's at all for some reason. Sanji's gaze dropped to find that he was wearing…_A doctor's jacket!_ _No way is this kid a doctor!_

The brown-haired boy's eyes were down-cast and he looked even more anxious as he picked up a clipboard hanging off the foot of the bed has he approached Sanji.

He took out a pen from the breast pocket and gulped audibly. "Mr Black," he began with a shaky voice and Sanji cringed internally, both at the formality of the phrase and the boy's lack of confidence. "h-how are you feeling?" He was looked blankly at the clipboard, trying to appear unperturbed, but Sanji noticed the hand poised above the medical document was shining with sweat and trembling.

_What is up with this kid?... Maybe he's one of those child-geniuses fresh from medical school and is just inexperienced with facing patients. Maybe he has no confidence…Or he could just be one of those people who are terrified of other people… Poor kid._

Whatever it was, Sanji wanted desperately to ease his worries, but avoid appearing pitying of the young doctor. He smiled warmly at the boy. "I must say I've felt better. I've got a killer headache but that's all really. Oh, and have I been in a coma or something?" he asked, perhaps too casually, presuming though that that was the case.

The kid finally looked up at him perplexed and surprised. "Uh, yes you have." He answered quietly, in a sweet, but frightened, high-pitched tone. He looked away. "How did-?" he stopped himself and gasped. "Er, never mind. Sorry!"

"Hey," Sanji started instinctively as he placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, "don't be so nervous, okay. I won't bite. I'm guessing you're new to this." He said softly. The brunette furrowed his eyebrows at Sanji, looking confused and insulted.

_Shit._

Sanji pulled his tender arm away and raised both defensively. "No, no! Shit- I didn't mean anything bad by it. I totally trust in your abilities as a doctor." He said all too quickly. "I mean considering your age you must be pretty damn smart, right?" He said genuinely, trying a small laugh and smiling again.

The kid's jaw dropped and his face blushed furiously.

Sanji couldn't help but smile more at the cute and innocent response. He laughed softly again and closed his eyes. He hummed enquiringly. "I must be right. Perhaps I could even go as far as assuming you're a medical genius?" Opening his eyes and seeing the boy's face, the grin vanished from his own. The doctor's whole face was glowing red but instead of looking flattered, the boy was clearly bemused and unnerved. He was glancing over at Luffy, agitated.

"Luffy?" he said in his wavering, childish voice. This kid worried Sanji a lot. He was so shy and uneasy and yet seemed so young and innocent. _I mean, the way he blushed at that tiny compliment. _What made Sanji a little sad was to see an aura of fear and worry surrounding him, and it concerned him that a child-like person was troubled such anxieties.

Sanji glanced over at the dark-haired boy too, to see a shocked look on his face also. Luffy stood silently for a bit just staring questioningly at Sanji.

Sanji just watched the boy and waited for something to happen.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Luffy, are you okay?" he said, genuinely quite worried. "You're looking at me as if I've just chopped off one of my hands." Luffy only drew back further with even wider eyes. His jaw was still slack and he didn't respond.

"Careful, Luffy. Widen your eyes any more and they'll pop out of your skull." Luffy just blinked at him, but this time it looked as if was trying to say something but couldn't produce the words.

Sanji's jaw clenched slightly in irritation. "Goddamnit it, Luffy. Spit it out! What's the shitty problem?" he turned to the nervous doctor, "Am I speaking English here?"

He looked down. "Er-"

"Sanji." Luffy said shakily, bringing Sanji's attention back to him. Luffy watched him uncertainly and didn't move for long enough for him to become annoyed again.

"Come on, Luffy, spit it out or I'll kick your shitty teeth in." He threatened with casual impatience rather than malicious intent.

Luffy pulled that disbelieving expression for possibly the tenth time. "Y-you-… Sanji, you sounded like…" the kid gulped, "you didn't really mean that."

Sanji rolled his eyes. He had absolutely no clue what the kid was talking about and he had lost the patience to put up with his weird behaviour. "Of course I mean it you little jerk," he half-lied, "now tell me what's going on!"

The kid swallowed thickly again and looked almost…nervous. _Just what the fuck is up with him?_

"Talk." He said simply. Sanji just pulled a confused face. Luffy noticed it and went on. "Tell me about something. _Anything_." He ordered clearly.

"Luffy wha-?"

"Just do it, Sanji!" he demanded looking at him desperately, his dark brown eyes boring pleadingly into Sanji's. "Just say anything- Tell me about yourself." He urged insistently.

Another throbbing sting flashed across his head and he gritted his teeth. All of the confusion was not helping his pounding head.

He noted Luffy's serious plea, rolled his eyes then closed them in an attempt to calm himself down and avoid flaring up any more pains. He sighed heavily. "I'm Sanji Black and I'm confused. I just woke up in a shitty hospital after being asleep for god-knows how long, where I'm apparently speaking a foreign language. I'm a chef with a 9-to-9 job at the Baratie restaurant and a 24/7 occupation feeding my black hole friend that is Luffy Portgas. My favourite colour is blue."

He opened his eyes expecting to shoot a 'happy now?' look at the confusing boy but he was met with a slightly different expression. Yes there was still the oh-so familiar shock being given off, but there was a small glimmer of hope and maybe…relief?

"Sanji… I'm your friend?"

Sanji looked baffled at the kid for a moment then scoffed incredulously. "Luffy," he said loudly and amused at the insane question, "you're my _only_ friend."

Sanji watched Luffy, who's chest was now rising and falling rapidly. He was about the ask what the meaning of the stupid behaviour and questions was, but he was stopped by Luffy diving onto the hospital bed and wrapping his limbs around Sanji and squeezing him.

"Ow! Fuck! That hurts you shitty brat." He yelled at the boy as his sore muscles sang with pain.

Luffy ignored him and looked him in the eyes with a beaming face. "S-so you're a chef?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes, you oaf! Now wh-?" Sanji attempted.

"And you work at the Baratie?"

"Of course! Luffy wha-"

And you'll cook me meat?"

"When you get off me, dufus-"

Luffy covered Sanji's mouth with his hand and he fixed him with a slightly more serious look.

"Now…" Sanji saw Luffy's eyes beginning to glisten.

_Is he…? Is he gonna cry?_

"…nod…if your dream is to find All Blue."

Sanji mentally rolled his eyes at the question but didn't after noting the look on the boy's face. He nodded quickly.

Luffy grinned the most stunningly joyful smile he had ever seen as tears formed in the corner of his eyes. He took his hand off his chef and tugged it snugly back underneath him. "Sanji!" he squealed happily, squeezing the cook even harder. "You're back!"

Okay, now what the shitty fuck was he spewing? "Luffy, what the hell-?" he tried exasperatedly.

"Um, Luffy." The young doctor finally said urgently and both men on the bed shot their glances towards him. "Mr Black is still in an unfit condition for any physical straining." He looked at Luffy worriedly.

"Noo~" Luffy said, turning his face away from the doctor. He was smiling softly to himself despite his grumpy sounding refusal.

The doctor wasn't having it though. "Luffy!" he scolded. Sanji smirked a bit at the kid's sudden assertive change in attitude.

Luffy made an upset whining noise and nuzzled his face into Sanji's chest.

"Listen to the doctor, Luffy." Sanji said smiling at him as his cheeks reddened adorably. Luffy whined again but reluctantly rolled off the cook. Chopper looked astonished from the blonde to the suddenly obedient teen and Sanji winked at him.

Chopper's mouth quirked in amusement for a second before it halted and vanished quickly.

Luffy's sandal-clad feet planted on the laminate floor with a two light smacks. "It's okay," he said repositioning his straw hat, "we can cuddle when you're better."

"Like hell I'd cuddle you, you clingy, little monkey."

Luffy just laughed loudly at his comment. "Sanji, I need to ask you some more questions about what you remember 'cos it looks like you have forgotten some things." The kid's smile lessened before he said the next sentence. "Things aren't how they used to be. Things have changed a lot." He looked over at Chopper, "But right now I need to speak to Chopper about some stuff."

Again, Sanji was confused and annoyed with the kid's cryptic words, but decided to leave inquiring for now. It hadn't done much good up to this point anyhow.

Luffy turned around, walked to the door at the end of the room and opened it, "C'mon, Chopper."

Chopper looked down at his clipboard and stuttered out an attempt to refuse.

"I'll just be two minutes. You can examine him after, okay?"

The boy sighed quietly through his nose. "Okay." He mumbled and the little kid jogged out of the room and Luffy followed, closing the door with a soft click.

Sanji was suddenly now much more aware of the monotonous bleeping of the heart monitor, as the room felt even more silent then it had before - almost as if all of Sanji's unanswered questions were hanging in the air. It was so bizarre to him how a room could hold so much tension whilst only one confused person resided there. There was no conflict, humiliation, anger or fear at hand, yet it was almost as if Sanji could feel a heavy weight pressing on his body. Something bad had happened, was happening or was going to happen. It made him feel on edge.

_I really need to know what the hell is going on. Luffy better not take too long. When he gets back I'm going to get some answers-_

A particularly painful wrench in his temples jerked Sanji from his thoughts. He growled in frustration.

_And hopefully something for this shitty headache… Something fast-acting please._


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

As soon as the door was shut, Chopper looked up at Luffy worriedly. "Luffy, what's up with him? Why is he acting like that?" he asked.

"Chopper," he began excitedly and gestured at the door, "_that's_ the Sanji I told you about all that time ago, before you all met him, before he changed. He's being the Sanji he used to be. I-I don't know why but-" he couldn't help but grin, "… He's back, Chopper."

Chopper fiddled with the papers on the clipboard he was still holding. "So he seems to have amnesia. Not being able to recall what he was just doing before his accident is quite common for patients who haven't been conscious for a while, but he didn't even recognise me. It also looks like he's forgotten how he's behaved the past few months since he was so confused by your reactions when he was nice to you…" he glanced back up at Luffy with sincere, brown eyes.

"I believe what you said about him not always being horrible. If he's acting how he used to be…then perhaps he's lost his memories of what it was that made him become so different. We need to find out exactly what he remembers and if his amnesia is just temporary." He gazed at the door nervously.

"'Kay." Luffy nodded.

"Luffy… Are you really just going to forgive him after everything he's done?"

Luffy leaned down and placed a hand on Chopper's shoulder so he would look back at him. "Chopper," he said firmly. "That _wasn't_ Sanji. Something happened, that's all, that made him like that. I just don't know what happened." He said the last sentence with a small frown.

"I want you to forget about everything he's done since you knew him. Everything he's said to you, all of the things he's done, just for a bit. We'll go back in there. You explain the doctor-y stuff and we'll both try explaining everything else."

Chopper didn't reply.

"Just start again with him. Trust me, Chopper." Luffy needed this. He needed him to do this. Everything can be fixed. Sanji will prove himself to everyone, starting with Chopper. "Please."

Chopper nodded reluctantly. "Okay."

Luffy couldn't suppress a smile and a chuckle. "Oh and by the way, Sanji wouldn't want you to call him Mr Black."

"But that's what he-" he began frantically.

"I know, I know. That's what he used to make you call him, but that wasn't him. I kept telling you it wasn't him, that he'd never behave that way, that it was all wrong, and you can see that now, right?"

Chopper just looked away.

"You can already see that he's different. Just go in there and start over with him. He doesn't remember you. And don't be scared of him. He'll be nice, he's back to normal now. I promise." he assured him brightly.

"It does seem strange." Chopper said, half agreeing with him. "Maybe you're right, Luffy. It's just so bizarre." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I should make sure he's okay." He reached for the door handle and Luffy laughed at an idea.

"Remember what he said about you being a genius." he chirped.

"Shut up, bastard! Don't remind me." he yelled, yanking the open to the room and hurrying inside.

….

The pains in Sanji's head now felt like stabbing sensations, as if his scalp was being repeatedly punctured by large needles. He was too hot and was close to kicking off the hospital sheets.

Luckily, Luffy and Chopper re-entered the room and Sanji tried hard to contain his pained expression.

"Mr- uh S-Sanji are you-?" he gasped loudly upon noticing Sanji's sweaty skin and tense features and hurried over to his patient.

Sanji's vision started to blur and he suddenly felt spiky cramps spark in his abdomen, causing him to let out a short, harsh cry.

He knew that Chopper was beside him when a small hand, that felt wonderfully cool against his burning skin, was placed on his forehead. Chopper let out another gasp before quickly removing it.

Sanji then heard himself grunt as the feeling of his insides twisting became more intense and he pressed his hand to his stomach, hoping to stop the disturbing pains.

What the hell was wrong with him?

"What-?..." he breathed out, being all he could manage.

"Is he okay?" Luffy asked.

"He will be." He said quickly. It brought a small sense of relief to Sanji although it didn't dampen his curiosity as to why he felt like he was dying.

He heard the slight clattering and clanking of glass bottles knocking against each other. The noises stopped for a moment and Sanji wondered whether he was losing his hearing as well as his sense of sight.

"Drink this for me." He heard Chopper say, and the instruction came with the brim of a plastic cup being placed gently against his lips. Sanji placed a hand under the tiny cup to direct the contents of it into his mouth. He swallowed the thick bitter-sweet syrup feeling insanely grateful for it.

"I'm sorry I left you so long. I should have treated you right away." Chopper said in a shaky voice.

Almost instantly, Sanji felt his muscles start to relax and the pain in his head and stomach ease beautifully. He started to feel cooler and, quite simply, much less shit. He opened his eyes that he just realised were closed and let out a relieved breath. He smiled at the little doctor.

"No problem." He said calmly. "I'm good now. Thank you."

The boy blushed as he nodded his head and gave him a weak smile.

Sanji sighed again. _God,_ _I feel so much better now. What was that all a-_

Sanji's eyes snapped open.

_Hang on. How come I feel okay so quickly?_ Was his young doctor really that skilled? What had he just taken and why had he had that strange attack?

"Chopper, what was that all about?"

The doctor bit his lip and looked anxiously over at Luffy, who nodded at him firmly in response.

"This might be difficult to hear, but you have the support from Luffy, myself and other doctors and professionals to get through this."

Sanji felt his breathing beginning to increase in depth and speed. "Chopper?" he said, urging.

Chopper took a deep breath before speaking in a quiet, shaky voice.

"What I just gave you was methadone."[1]

_No._

Sanji felt paralyzed – limp and motionless with fear.

"The high temperature, the pains, the dizziness… They were all drug withdrawal symptoms."

* * *

[1] Methadone is a sedative drug that can be used as a painkiller or a substitute for heroin. It reduces physical and psychological pain. (for more info check out Talk to Frank)

Author's Note: Sorry about the long wait and the short chapter. I'm starting the next chapter straight away and it should be up in just over a week.

Still quite iffy about this chapter, as always constructive criticism is very welcome, so I'll re-edit if need be. Thank you for reading, following and for the reviews.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

_Sanji felt paralyzed – limp and motionless with fear._

_"The high temperature, the pains, the dizziness… They were all drug withdrawal symptoms."_

* * *

Sanji's mouth went dry as he stared blankly at the doctor. Did he hear that right? There was no way. There was just absolutely no way.

He exhaled a shuddering breath he didn't know he was holding in. "W-withdrawal…symptoms?" he whispered.

Chopper's expression soured and he nodded.

Sanji felt so ill. His stomach began to tighten with fear and repulsion. He looked over at Luffy whose, usually cheerful, face was ridden with sadness and hurt. "I…I'm a junkie?" he said weakly.

Luffy's frown just deepened and his eyebrows scrunched together tightly as he glared at the floor.

"I think we need to talk to you a bit more about what you remember first." Chopper said in careful, but professional, voice.

It couldn't be true. Sanji had absolutely no memory of ever even being interested in drugs. He had been adamant his whole life that he would _never_ touch them. How the hell could this have happened? It couldn't have happened.

His voice came out timid and desperate. "Just tell me though," because he needed to know, "…Am I a junkie?"

Chopper gave him a sympathetic look. "We aren't one hundred percent certain about the time scale, but we believe that you've been talking recreational drugs for about seven months-"

Sanji gasped and couldn't control himself as he clapped a hand over his gaping mouth. His fingertips pressed harshly into his cheek and his breaths were escaping through a gap between his fingers in shuddery puffs.

Chopper looked away and closed his eyes tightly. "And you have absolutely no memory of this?" he said, more as a statement of conformation rather than a question.

He slowly lowered his hand. In the silence, the rapid beeps coming from his heart monitor echoed hauntingly in the room.

He looked at Luffy whose face hadn't changed, but it spoke of a regretful kind of knowing that Sanji only found unsettling. He wanted to convince his best friend that he would never stoop that low. His friend should never have to doubt his strongest principles. He would never do anything to risk hurting Luffy that way.

"Luffy…I would never…" he croaked, shaking his head. Luffy just continued to look at the floor and tilted his head further down to allow the brim of his hat to shadow his.

How could it be possible? What the _hell_ could have happened to make him go down such a dark path? After all he'd been through in his life, what else could have happened that would lead him to compromise his strongest beliefs?

"How did this happen, Luffy?"

The boy looked up at him wordlessly with glassy eyes.

He hated it when Luffy looked like that. "What happened?" he croaked.

Luffy sniffed loudly. "I don't know." he replied, and he walked over to sit in the chair again.

He didn't know what to say. He was just too overwhelmed with shock and confusion to properly register the thoughts and questions swirling around in his head.

"A lot of things have changed, Sanji. Some weird stuff happened."

_Drugs? _

_HEROIN?!_

_Yeah, really fucking weird Sanji! What the fuck is wrong with you?! What have you done? _

_Of course this was bound to happen eventually._

Sanji growled at himself and dug the heels of his hands forcefully into his eyes to stop the voices. He had to stop the voices.

"Sanji." Luffy said worriedly.

Sanji retracted his hands and faced his friend.

Luffy looked at him, determined. "Do you remember France?"

_Shit! Of course._

"Y-yeah, I do. I was booking to go wasn't I? After-" He cut himself off.

_Oh shit. How did I forget?_ He felt his heart sink and his face crumple up sadly as the memory returned to him. The dull heaviness he felt in his chest surfaced again, causing the cold numbness to spread through his body as it did upon hearing the news the first time.

He felt Luffy grab his hands and grip onto them tightly. His friend gave him that look. It was a look that was so different. There were only two people who had given him that look in his lifetime and one of them was Luffy. It was an expression that held no pity, but was supportive and sympathetic. There was a determination in it for Sanji to realise what they were trying to tell him. 'It's okay. You're not alone. You're strong enough to handle this.'

Sanji nodded at Luffy and gave him a small, thankful smile. Luffy smiled back.

"So you remember booking? Is that it?" Luffy said a little uncertainly.

"I…remember planning out destinations and my routes to each one and shit like that. I don't think I remember booking. I'm not sure. It gets a little fuzzy after that." His voice was still a bit shaky and quite but he was past the point of caring.

Luffy nodded and Sanji heard the subtle sounds of Chopper taking down notes and clearing his throat.

"So that's as far back as you can remember?" the doctor asked calmly.

Sanji closed his eyes and tried searching his mind for any more recent memories and specific details of what he was last doing – the locations he wanted to visit, what the weather was last like.

"Don't strain yourself." Chopper said, breaking Sanji out of his mental tracking and causing him to open his eyes. "That's fine if that's all you remember. It's still possible that more memories will return." He assured him, though Sanji wasn't sure he wanted that considering the state of his life at the moment.

Sanji took a deep breath. "Okay… So, how did I get here?"

Luffy - who hadn't let go of him - pulled his hands closer to his body, bringing Sanji's with them. He looked anxious, but like he was trying his hardest not to show it. "It's kind of complicated. It doesn't make much sense and you might not believe it. But it's all true." He said firmly.

Sanji swallowed to try and moisten his parched tongue and itching throat. He could really have done with some water but didn't want to extend this panic and uncertainty. He hated being in the dark about things. No matter how bad the reality was, Sanji had discovered from a young age that it was best just to know.

"Just tell me straight."

Luffy looked down at their entwined hands. Sanji somewhat wanted to free his hands the boy's clasp, but he assumed that Luffy must have had a good reason for doing what he was doing. Whatever it was that he was going to reveal to Sanji, it was going to be equally as bad as (or possibly worse than) remembering what happened that made him decide to go to France in the first place.

"You went to France and stuff. In the end, you decided to go for a month. But when you went…the whole time you were there, you never called or e-mailed or wrote. To me or Zeff." He said glumly.

Sanji drew back a little. _A whole month? _Granted he wanted to get away from everything, but why would he ever want to ignore Luffy and the old man at all, let alone for a month.

"Why did I do that?" he said, irritated at himself for doing that.

Luffy looked off to the side, looking quite annoyed himself. "We don't know. Well…" his sentence drifted and as he stared at the foot of Sanji's bed his expression became more bothered and unsure.

"Well what?" Sanji asked tentatively, reminding himself not to be too eager for what he might hear. Luffy still hadn't released his hands.

Luffy's attention returned to him. "Something happened to you while you were away. You changed. You came back different."

"I changed? Different in what way? You mean I came back a junkie?" he questioned.

The dark-haired boy scrunched his eyebrows up for a second and squeezed Sanji's hands. "Promise not to freak out or get angry at yourself. It wasn't you."

"Why? What do you mean, it wasn't me?" Sanji asked, terrified of himself, of what he might have done.

"You'll know when I tell you."

And Sanji just listened. He forced himself not to interrupt and take everything in.

The boy took a deep breath and began.

"You ignored us all the time you were away. You only showed up at the Baratie a few days after you got back. And when you got back, it was like someone else was in your body. You were mean to everyone, even Zeff and me... And women. You didn't even cook the same. You made friends with bad people - drug lords and gang members. Then you got arrested for taking drugs and were in the papers and everything… When Zeff went to get you, you'd already been bailed out by someone else."

As Sanji let the information sink in, more and more questions were conjured. There were a lot of things that Sanji wanted to ask about but it mainly involved the word "why":

_Why was I cruel to you and the old man and to women? Why did I start to associate with a bunch of dangerous drug addicts?_

But based on Sanji's previous enquiries, it seemed that Luffy's knowledge on "why" was obscure. So instead he asked the most recent question on his lips.

"Who was it?"

Luffy looked down again and chewed the inside of his cheek. "You remember Doflamingo?"

Sanji felt the tenseness seep from his jaw and shoulders to his legs in subconscious preparation for an attack, and his fists begin to clench at the sound of that grotesque man's name. Sanji loathed that Doflamingo. He pushed all of his buttons and put knots in his stomach all at the same time.

Doflamingo had pretty much fucking stalked Sanji for the last year or so. It hadn't been too intense because the man would leave the country or state for weeks at a time, allowing Sanji to relax and be free of his stifling, unwanted presence. He used to visit him a few times a month, though recently his appearances had gotten increasingly scarce.

Sanji could tell that Doflamingo was a dangerous man. He donned himself with gaudy clothing, ridiculous sunglasses and an almost ever-present grin. But despite his comical appearance, Doflamingo scared Sanji more than any living man. He was lecherous, powerful and sadistic. He probed Sanji's personal space as well as his darkest thoughts. The man was psychotic and wicked and was, to Sanji, a terrifying reminder mixed with the worrying fact that he was sexually interested in Sanji.

Sanji wasn't sure whether he should be angry or frightened – but he was both.

"Yeah," he said through slightly gritted teeth, "I do."

Luffy bit at his bottom lip. "And ever since then...you, moved out of your place and moved into his mansion." he said hurriedly.

Sanji inhaled so violently that he choked on the breath that scraped against his coarse throat. He coughed aggressively to relieve the painful itch, causing Chopper to squeal and run out of the room.

He compelled himself to stop his coughing fit and let out a juddering, humourless laugh. "What the hell made me decide to live with that phycho prick?" he said hoarsely.

Luffy gave him that determined, searching look again. "Sanji… you're Doflamingo's…"

_Hang on… when does Luffy ever refer to him as 'Doflamingo'? _

He licked his dry, chapped lips. "Luffy." He pushed seriously.

Luffy sighed sharply from his nose with a firm bob of his shoulders. He looked at Sanji with a blank face yet worried eyes as he spoke plainly and simply. "Doflamingo's your boyfriend."

* * *

Author's Note. Oh dear, another cliffhanger. I hope this chapter turned out okay and didn't disappoint.

It'll probably be a slightly longer wait for the next upload because I'm trying to write longer chapters, and also I'm behind on the majority of my school work.

Thank you for reading and for the favourites, follows and reviews =3


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